Thursday, May 31, 2012

A Big Job

I've been thinking a lot about jobs lately.  About getting a job, having to apply for a job, my nonpaying job.  Here's the thing about being a stay-at-home mom, I am never going to be promoted and I am never going to feel like an expert.  

Each one of my children is incredibly different, so one particular parenting technique or strategy that works well with one will not work at all with another.  I have one quiet, shy child, one funny child, one super cuddly child and one rowdy take no prisoners child (yup, the baby).
**Not pictured: the quiet, shy child.  And of course they are more than the brief one or two word descriptions above.  So much more.  And I love them all individually for who they are and who they will become.  I will not confine them to being "the funny one" or "the quiet one."  
My long term goals include having all the children become college educated, clean living, do-gooding, well-mannered, involved, concerned, caring grown ups.  I want them to know more than me without learning the hard way.  I want them to have less darkness and more light than I do.  I want them to feel grounded and loved.  

Love liberates.  That is a Maya Angelou quote that I think about often.  She also said "love doesn't bind, love doesn't hurt, it liberates."  I want my children to grow up feeling liberated.
Yet another great album cover picture right? 
But damn, those are lofty goals.  And my short term success is well, shaky at best.

Here are just a couple lessons I've learned recently that I want to share because we are a village and all.  Hopefully my shaky parenting skills will help other mothers.

Lesson # 1--Set those channel locks on your TV/cable/computer. Like now.  
I can't even tell you the story I want to tell you.  I have been censored people.  Censored by my conservative husband.  He has never once told me not to put something in here.  Sure he cringes when I type the word fuck.  He has a nervous look when I get way honest about some of my battles with sadness.  But I have to respect his decision about this one.  Just use your imagination.

Lesson # 2--Save the bug.
The other morning, my oldest son pulled a bug off his neck and showed it to me a few minutes before we were leaving for school. I freaked out, took a picture with my iPhone and threw the bug outside.  My first thought was "holy shit, we have bed bugs!" and went straight to "we're going to have to get rid of all our furniture."  After the panic was over, I looked up the bug on the Internet and realized it was a tick.  My first thought was "holy shit, he has Lyme disease!"  

I called the pediatrician and they said I should have saved the bug and brought it in.  They would figure out if it was a dog, wood or deer tick and have it tested in the lab.  Um, wow, okay.  For now we are watching for the telltale bulls-eye rash and fever that means concern.  Thankfully no signs of trouble so far. But people, save the bug next time so you don't end up spending countless hours researching ticks and Lyme disease on the great, fucking scary world wide web.

Lesson # 3--Sleep more.
For years my husband has been telling me how much he loves sleeping.  He calls it his hobby.  And he is really good at it.  I hate sleeping and always have.  It's a waste of time, I would say.  I could be doing something productive, like worrying or researching scary diseases online.  

Well, four kids and almost 11 years of parenting have taught me husband was right, sleep is amazing.  I'm not ready to list it as my number one hobby or go to bed much before midnight, but I get it, it's good.  When I do get more than five hours of sleep, I think better, I parent better, I look better.
It's no wonder sleep is hard to come by with this over crowded bed, but aren't they so cute?

And I am going to need my sleep, I have a mighty big job ahead of me (and no raise in pay). I have four little wonderful souls to love and liberate.  And not totally screw up.  

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Joy in this Journey

Find joy in the journey.  I hung this in my kitchen this past weekend.  Because I spend most of my life in that kitchen.  Because it's a good reminder.  Because it makes me happy.  Because sometimes I have a tendency to over complicate things, life.

Kids are also a good reminder to find the joy in the journey.  

Our long weekend was completely free.  Wide open, no commitments, no games, no travels plans, nothing, Nada, zero, zippo.  I can't remember when I could say that.  Maybe like five years ago.

Along with no plans, we also had no extra fun money. Nada, zero, zippo.  That meant no trip to the movie theater (which gets ultra expensive for a family of six and what the hell can a two-year-old see anyway?), no dinners out, no mini-golf, etc.  

I was beginning to over complicate my feelings about having no money to do anything spectacular.  Starting to get nervous about the fact that we didn't have a plan, who has no plans?  I started to feel guilty about the lack of extra money.

But then I surrendered to the no plans, the nothingness and opened myself up to a whole hell of a lot of joy.  And it was all free.

There was a nature walk on the trail near our house.  It was secluded, we were only joined by a couple bikers whizzing past and four deer galloping by us.  Yes, deer gallop.  And I must tell you, that part was horrifying and not joyful at all.  Even though I grabbed the baby and was screaming obscenities out of fear, my kids loved the deer sighting.  And I love when my kids are happy, so I'll live.

There was a neighborhood baseball game. The kids (JT and Lucy) designed the invite and delivered it to everyone on the street.

We all walked down to the fields near our house.  

Who got the game winning walk off hit?  
The only girl in the group, my sweet Lulu.  

"You should play softball sweetie, you are amazing," my husband and I gushed.

"No, I won't and you can't make me do it," she replied angrily.
We get it, she doesn't want to do any organized sport, dance, theater, etc.  

But for that moment right after the hit, she was full of joy.

As we sat down for dinner on Monday night, we asked the kids to tell us their favorite thing about the weekend. 

"All of it," said JT.
"Yeah, all of it," agreed Peyton while Lucy nodded along.

There is definitely joy in this journey. (And it doesn't have to cost a gazillion dollars.)

Even though we have a couple more weeks of school for the kids, summer is looking amazing.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Holiday Weekend Kitchen Dance

So far not one thing has gone how we planned it this holiday weekend--travel plans were cancelled, baseball games/teams were all switched up, it rained when it wasn't supposed to, etc.  But it's not all bad.  In fact it's all worked out pretty great.
We finally started to plant some flowers and do some yard work.
And you know what I think the key to happiness is anyway right? Dancing of course.  And we have been dancing in the kitchen from breakfast to bedtime all weekend long.  And we are happy.

Here's a short holiday edition of Kitchen Dance!

Hope you and your family are happy and dancing this long weekend.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Full-force Nutso and What I Know For Sure (this week)

May is so much like December--extremely busy, full of excitement and expectations.  There are end-of-the-year parties for the kids at school and church.  It seems that most of the children my kids know were born in May and are having birthday parties.  
Wade is getting his summer on early at his big brother's baseball game.  We are not afraid to get down and dirty in the Youngblood family.

Summer sports are kicking into full gear.  It's just nuts, and expensive.
JT is getting his summer on early with the classic grass whistle trick.  Never gets old, I love it.
It is busy, busy, busy and then school gets out and our life feels a bit like a ghost town.  Or like one of those movies, after the nuclear attack or apocalyptic storm where the townspeople start walking around in tattered clothes, confused and hazy. That will be us that first week of summer vacation.  

But we are still a few weeks away from that.  We are in full-force nutso schedule.  We are just getting a glimpse of an easy, breezy summer. 

I got mail yesterday, good mail.  (That hardly every happens anymore.)  But I got the nicest post-card from a mom-of-four mentor and dear friend of mine.  
I love this post card, it's perfect for my life right now.  Thank you to my dear friend Brenda who sent it.

A note of encouragement and love and understanding during this hectic time before school gets out.  It was short and sweet and so special.  

Good mail and good friends are amazing (especially during dizzyingly busy, hectic, overwhelming times), I know that for sure.

Here's what else I know for sure (this week):

Self deprecation doesn't play well in a resume.  Yup, I was updating my resume this past week.  And jokes about possibly being crazy aren't appealing to potential future employees. Waaaa.

I love smart women. And these are two of my ALL TIME FAVORITES--Kelly Corrigan interviewing Anna Quindlen. Oh my god, I love this.

Kelly Corrigan is awesome.  Her books are awesome.  I love her. Watch this and tell me you don't love her.

Bravo rules.  I am a little obsessed, but I watch Bravo more than any other channel.  It is to me what Lifetime was to me in my 20s, which is awesome escapism.  So excited to spend my summer with Bravo.

Twitter won't quit me.  Sure I have unfollowers that I take personally, but overall I'm going strong.   I am so close, so very close to my coveted 500 followers--496 people.  Help me reach 500, follow me at @AngelaYBlood.

I love this video. I love these kids. I think they would fit in with my family nicely.  I especially love how grumpy the little girl looks at various points in the video.  She is giving a real "I hate you bitch" look to the camera, a look that I am very familiar with from my own little Lucy.

Comments matter.  Click here and check out my piece and please leave a comment.  It makes a difference to my editor and that makes a difference to me.  Even if you hate my review, tell me about it.

Holiday weekends were meant to enjoy.  Have a good one.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

A Better Week

This week has been so much much better than last week.  Not having the stomach flu/fever virus is a huge factor.  But also some things are just clicking better, happening more naturally and life doesn't seem too overwhelming, this week.  

Maybe it's because I got to do some fun, out of the my norm things.  Um, like, I don't know, drive a MINI Cooper around for a few hours with a good pal on a sunny afternoon listening to Blondie.  Yeah, that helped make my week better for sure.

Sometimes being a struggling, hustling freelance writer can be really fun.  Yeah, cruising in a bad ass (yup, I just called a MINI Cooper bad ass) car was work.  

Stay tuned next week to see my write up on that MINI.  For now, you can click here to check out my review of the Dodge Journey in today's Patch.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Closet Shopping (What I Wore Wednesday)

Someone told me I was "low maintenance" the other day.  Materialistically? Yes.  Emotionally?  Of course not.

I'm linking up with the pleated poppy's What I Wore Wednesday(wiww) again. WWIW link up was started by blogger/business woman extraordinaire, Lindsey, as a "fun way for us to encourage each other to simply get dressed each day, and get out of our pj’s or yoga pants."  I love linking up here every now and then to get me thinking about fashion-- A. Because it's fun and B. Because it forces me to update my look or at least take a second look at my look(s).

A couple weeks ago I bought a dress for a big event.  I rarely buy new dresses and I rarely go to big events.  So, it was a big deal. 

When I went into the store, I felt a little uncomfortable--with my body, the prices, etc.  I felt under dressed, insecure.  I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.  You know the scene when her boyfriend  John a.k.a. Richard Gere gives her money to buy a dress?  The sales people are so mean and she leaves all dejected and humiliated.  Much like a sad hooker from 1990, I almost left the store dejected, but I stayed.  I stayed because I realized no one was being unkind, no one was making me feel bad about myself (except me).  I stayed because Richard Gere was not going to come and give me a bunch of money to stick it to the snotty salespeople.

I found a dress that was fabulous and had an amazing time at the event.  Even though I have body issues, the biggest reason I felt uncomfortable at the store was money.  It seemed crazy to spend so much money on clothes or anything quite frankly.

I prefer to closet shop.  And I guess as far as fashion goes, I AM pretty low maintenance.

I did a little closet shopping the other day and here were some good finds.
This outfit is from H&M circa 2009.
The sweater makes it a little more conservative. I wore the above look to church on Sunday.

I wore the look below to the baseball game after church. Took off the sweater and paired it with $3 Target flip flops, not pictured.
I find it hard to not make funny faces in these or any picture I am in.

This outfit is also from H&M circa 2007.  Classic, flattering wrap dress.  Love it!
The sandals are from Kohl's and are 10 years old!  A decade ago, I was on my way to a wedding and actually forgot my shoes.  I stopped at Kohl's and picked these babies up.  Honest to god, these inexpensive sandals lasted longer than my friend's marriage.  Sad, but true story.
My purse.  Don't you love it?  It was a gift from my best pal Stephanie.  It's kind of a tradition that she gets me a purse for my birthday every year.  It started because she watched me carry the same purse for five years.  It wasn't because it held up so well (it was sort of falling apart), it was just because I liked it and it worked.  Steph was disgusted and bought me a new one.  And she has fabulous taste.  This one is showing signs of wear and tear and my birthday is right around the corner....

So while new things (like giant lovely purses) are great, I like diving into my closet and seeing what I can find.  It's a little like shopping without driving to the store, sales people and all that jazz.  

It's low maintenance I guess.

pleated poppy

Here it is, the Pretty Woman clip:

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

@ Balance

This past Sunday I sat in a class discussing Tweens and Technology.  
Yeah, I took this picture with my smart phone during class.

Several people shared stories about how they loved being in a cabin during their summer vacation far away from the internet and television.  Others discussed their disdain for texting and tweeting.

I was sweating and fidgeting in my seat, trying not to check my Twitter feed or see if anyone sent me a text.  I felt ashamed that my idea of vacation meant never being anywhere without air conditioning and WiFi.

"I feel the need to defend technology," I sheepishly said, as my face turned bright red as it does whenever I speak in front of a group.  Or whenever I feel any kind of emotion, or step out into the sunlight, or drink a sip of wine, or have too much caffeine, well you get the idea...I'm very fair skinned and turn red a lot.  "There is nothing wrong with Tweeting."

One Christmas when I was a kid we got a computer.  It was the "family gift" and really one of the only gifts that year because, come on, a computer back in 1985 was a pretty f-ing big deal.  

I was mesmerized by the keyboard.  "Buttons!," I screamed when we all tore off the wrapping paper.

Many a night I spent playing department store on that keyboard.  Funny enough, I never even turned the computer on for that game.  I watched reruns of my favorite show Dallas while pretending to swipe one of my dad's old credit cards on my fancy keyboard/fake cash register.  Yeah, I was 9.  It was the life.

I spent a lot of time watching TV as a kid.  A lot.  And now I spend a lot of time on the computer and my phone and I can often be heard muttering "what an awesome time to be alive!"  If I could, I would move into the Apple store and soak up all the bad ass technology and just love it.  Hell I'd even move into a Best Buy or RadioShack, yup, I love it all that much.

But as I sat listening to my friends at church give statistics about kids and how much "screen time" they will have and the cyber bullying they may encounter, it all felt uncomfortable.

It's a different world now. Sure it might not have been extremely healthy for me to be watching JR womanize his way through the city of Dallas when I was 9, but I was safe in my home with my family.  I wasn't talking to anyone.  I wasn't texting or tweeting anyone.

I still refuse to demonize technology altogether and still won't vacation anywhere without WiFi. But, I will pay attention.  I will set boundaries for myself and my kids.  

For someone who watched so much TV as a kid, I don't feel completely ruined and do already limit my kids. There are not and will never be TVs in my kids' bedrooms, much to their chagrin.  Still not sure about when to get them a cell phone.  None of them have music devices or mobile video game systems.  But that works for us, now. It's not for everybody.

There were some great take aways from the class this past Sunday.  Here they are:

1. It is our job to "prepare our children for their future, not our past."  

2. Balance is the key.

3. We are the parents, we make the rules.

4. There is no single right way to manage technology in your home.

So I am trying this whole balance thing.  I don't check my phone as much when I'm with my kids and I realize I don't have to tweet every moment.  

But I will still shamelessly plug my Twitter account, yeah that's right....follow me @AngelaYBlood.

I'm working on the balance, which is key.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Not IT

"Bubble gum, bubble gum in a dish, how many pieces do you wish?" the kids chanted to see who was IT in their game of Hide n' Seek this past weekend.  I remember singing/chanting this so many times when I was a kid, especially running around playing outside in the summer.

We got a taste of summer this past weekend and it was, um, amazing.

There was so much sunscreen at the baseball game it smelled like the beach.  

The kids were outside more than inside this weekend.  They fell into their beds beyond exhausted each night.

We even took out the pool. The kids seemed unfazed by the freezing cold hose water.  
I mean it was a warm 85 degrees, but that water was damn cold.

That taste of summer was good and needed. Last week was intense.  

It all started with Mother's Day, which is a great holiday, really.  But I am so not a holiday kind of gal.  I mean I like the whole idea behind holidays, but I get so uncomfortable, so uneasy.  Maybe it's having expectations, possibly being let down, possibly not doing enough--it's just too much.  

Then the week involved a horrible, god damn awful stomach flu.  

Lying down without the energy to stop my two-year-old from spraying the couch with his Gogurt or to break up the WWF re-enactment my boys were doing in my living room, was making me crazy.  With Gogurt dripping from my already dirty couch and two of my three boys crying, I lost it.  I was in charge, I was IT and I so didn't want to be IT.

Nothing was good.  I was going to the dark side.  No joke.

I couldn't see past the darkness that was the moment--my dark Gogurt moment.  It was more than the silly yogurt kids like to slurp out of a plastic tube of course.  It was stress.  Stress of life not going exactly how you wanted or planned or both.  It was disappointment.  Disappointment of mistakes made over and over.  The pace of life.  The unfairness of it all.  The lack of sleep.  The utter exhaustion of making it all work and then it doesn't work.  

But then, the sun came out.  I had a long, amazing talk with my brother who helped me see past the darkness and get out of my funk.  The sun came out and I watched the kids play games and be silly and have fun.  And it felt like everything was going to be okay.

Just as I was starting to sing "I can see clearly now the rain is gone..." Tim, my husband, started to go dark.  Not only with the stomach flu, but also the negative doom and gloom.  The whole "why do we work so hard and have it not work out?" feeling.  The feeling that makes you wonder what the hell the whole point is anyway.

Me going dark?  Normal.  Tim going dark?  The world just might indeed be ending.

Luckily, we hardly ever go dark at the same time and we are usually pretty good about lifting each other up.  So, when he needed it, I was ready.  When he needed a what's the point, what's next, why are we doing it all answer here is what I texted him:

Buying a house and renovating it, backyard parties with he neighborhood, being the backyard all the kids want to go to, watching our kids grow up safe and smart and kind with good values, coaching more and stressing less, traveling a little, getting away alone for a weekend or two the next 15 years, being in love and feeling lucky that we get to share all of this together and not alone.  Together because we are soul mates and the great loves of our lives.

We can get through our tough moments.  And the thing is, we just might be stronger because of the tough, dark moments, even those scary dark Gogurt moments.

And the the little taste of summer was indeed just what we needed.  Sunshine, playing outside for hours, bike rides, baseball, ice cream on the porch, running through sprinklers...oh man, it's going to be good.

Here is something else that is good.  I love Fresh Prince and I love Will Smith (even with all that slapping business going down right now) for honoring his roots. Ch-ch-check it out. I especially love how EVERYONE knows all the words to the Fresh Prince theme song/rap.  Life is indeed good again.

Friday, May 18, 2012

My Brand and What I Know For Sure (This Week)

"Exactly what is your brand?" my father asked me a few months ago about my blog and some of my freelance writing assignments.

"Me," I said enthusiastically.

He looked worried. 
"Are you prepared for people's comments?," my sister gently asked me a little while after my dad's question.

"Yeah, bring it on," I boldly stated.  "Of course I will go through a mini-depression if they hate me, but I'll get over it.  It's a process, so yeah bring it on."  

She looked worried.

Being a tad more reserved than me, they were worried about me taking my act on the road.  Putting myself out there.  

Somedays I worry.  I worry that my act will get tired.  Then I'm afraid I  really will take it too personally because my act is well, um, me.

I am a goof ball who gets ridiculously excited about ridiculous things, like hats.  I adore all things pop culture.  And I do often try to go for the laugh.  I am also a person who is incredibly sensitive, has a tendency to be so laid back about parts of planning that I f*@* up important things (like schedules, bill paying, etc) and I like to be alone, a lot.  Plus I have a tendency to go dark sometimes.   

But the whole "use what you got" philosophy is what I've always gone with.  Some people are really good at crunching numbers, others can craft like a motherf#####, some people are patient teachers, etc.

I am good at being the jester, the goof ball, and connecting with people. 

When I was younger, I worried too, though.

One of my first jobs in college was as an unpaid intern with a downtown development group in Pittsburgh.  One week my assignment was to wear a sign and pass out whistles and get people excited about downtown Pittsburgh.  I can't remember what the hell people were thinking passing out whistles, but some committee of adults with degrees thought it was a brilliant idea.  So there I was positioned at bus stops and subway terminals during morning rush hours passing out whistles.  Most people walked right on by and were not amused, at all.  But I kept on selling my funny and passing out my whistles.  Later in the day, as I headed home I saw several homeless people holding my whistles, one even trying to direct traffic with the whistle. Not my best day, but it was still kind of funny. 

I didn't let any early experiences of people not getting my funny get me down.  Okay I did, but it's a process remember.  I recovered.  

Being real, selling a little bit of my goofball-ness and connecting with people isn't a lucrative endeavor.  But it's what I've always done.  And it has led me to meet so many incredible people and make some meaningful friendships and have some powerful, moving moments.

This I know for sure.

What Else I Know For Sure (This Week):

I am loving cars more than ever before. Check out more of my brand, me, reviewing cars for Patch.  This is a very fun project and this past week I drove a tricked out Suburban. Click here to read more and feel very free to leave a comment here or on the Patch site, comments are good for the brand.

The stomach flu/virus sucks. That's all.

This movie- What to Expect When You're Expecting- looks funny.  Wish it would've been around for my first pregnancy when I was a tad disillusioned with what pregnancy was exactly.

Even though Facebook is going all mainstream and public, it's still cool. Click here to be a part of this here wee little blog's Facebook Page.  

Donna Summer was the queen of disco-RIP.  So many good songs.  So many good memories of my childhood like singing "Bad Girls" as a little kid and having NO idea what it was all about. Love this song.

Thursday, May 17, 2012


I am delirious.  With fever.

It happened fast.  First Peyton, my 10-year-old, came down in the middle of the night with freaky high fever eyes.  I knew it was bad when he let me snuggle with him for five minutes.

Then as JT, my newly turned 6-year-old, and I were getting ready to go to the belated Mother's Day Tea at kindergarten, he started crying and he had the fever eyes.  
I was disappointed about not going to the party.  I was like really, really disappointed.  Crying and saying things in my head like "nothing ever goes my way."  The grand overreacting, while pretty common for me, was a tad over the top, even for me.  It was the first sign.  Then the chills, the aches and finally I looked in the mirror and I too had the crazy high fever eyes.

It's a game changer when the mama gets sick.  Who the hell does everything?  I have a good husband, a very good one, and he still doesn't do everything.  At least the way I do it, ahem, the right way.

Hopefully this is a fast bug, because it sure is aggressive.  I have to get better.  We have our busy life to get back to.  Baseball practices to go to, bills to pay, laundry to constantly try and "catch up" on, season finales to watch, plumbers to let in and so much more.

"I have a really important question," Lucy asked Tim last night.  "Not a 'can I have a chocolate milk?' kind of question."

Tim, being the amazing, kind father that he is leaned in closer and gently said "What is it honey?" (I told you he is good.)

"How are we made? How do our body parts work?," she said with a very serious voice.  "How did God make us so perfect, well not all of us." 

Tim's eyes widened.  I sat up from my sick couch to watch how Tim handled himself.  "When your mother is better, she is going to answer all those really important questions," he told her.

I gotta get better.

Yesterday before the fever invaded our house I signed the parent consent form for my fourth grader to listen to the first very important health talk.  You know the talk where they separate the girls and the boys in the class.

Being the mature parent that I am, I giggled as I signed it and asked him if he knew what this was all about.  I told him it was important to not giggle like me while his teachers talked.

I gotta get better.

There's really important stuff I've got to handle and even without a fever I'm not the best.  It could get even messier around here.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Turning Six

We celebrated JT's sixth birthday yesterday.  

My baby JT.  JT the reason I might be considered an advocate for the attachment parenting craze...he is the child that started the whole co-sleeping thing.  But he was such an amazingly sweet cuddly baby, I couldn't resist.  Six years later, well, I still can't.  

JT is a sweet child.   A sweet, funny child.  
He loves hanging out with older kids.  Many a Saturday you will find him trying to get in his older brother's dug out at baseball games.  Or wandering off to the concession stand with kids in third grade.  The kids aren't bothered by him, even his big brother, for the most part, enjoys him.  People get a kick out of JT.

JT is a cool kid.  A sweet, cool kid.
My husband and I joke about how we have to try really hard to look cool. Even when we try, most of the time it just doesn't work out.  JT on the other hand has a swagger.  He can put on a jersey inside out and wear underwear on his head and look cool (You think I am making this outfit up don't you?  But no it happened.).

JT is a kid that wants to be included.  He wants to get in the game and when he does, man is he happy to be there.

I had a friend once who said there are people who are "light bringers."  Sweet, funny JT swaggers in and brings the light.  He makes even the grumpiest cashier at the grocery store smile.  He makes other kids laugh.  He makes our hearts melt.

His road in his short six years hasn't been without a few twists and turns and steep hills to get up--he didn't talk until he was 3 and after being sick for some time we discovered he has Celiac disease.  There's been speech therapy, special diets, struggles, catching up, not catching up, being left out and standing out.  Through it all he still brings the light.  

Of course, he is like every kid and definitely can be challenging.  To be completely honest, sometimes he can be beyond the every kind of kid challenging.  But even at my most frustrated, during my most heartbreaking moments with him, I see it.  I see the glimmer, the spark--it never goes out.

Happy birthday to my little light bringer.

Monday, May 14, 2012

A Mouth Breathing, Fly Catching Mess

This weekend was busy, but all weekends are feeling busy.  Life is busy.  But life is good.  Life is sweet.
My Mother's Day bouquet, courtesy of Lucy.

Races were run.
Baseball was played.
Trees were climbed.

Sizing up the competition.

This business is exhausting.  This business of having four kids and playing hard.

I took a nap in the van while Lucy was in gymnastics class on Saturday. I had two little boys napping in the back.  I woke up quickly startled by baby Wade demanding to be let out of his car seat.  I wiped the drool from my chin and looked around nervously wondering if anyone saw.  I am very sensitive about being made fun of, not for napping, but for being a mouth breather.

One time when I had a sleepover at a friend's house in high school, I got busted for being a mouth breather.  She and her parents nicknamed me "flycatcher." Niiiiice.  Excuse me if I have allergies and sinus issues and need to breath through my mouth.  

Another bad experience was on one of my first dates.  It was a group date.  We were all at the movie Cocktail.  I was really into it.  So into it, I forgot.  Forgot to check myself before I wrecked myself.  My date leaned over and said "Is that noise you breathing?" with a disgusted, confused look on his face.  You see I was so into Tom Cruise behind the bar I forgot to hold my breath a little.  I was in full fledge mouth wide open loud breathing form.  Being called out was devastating.

After having deviated septum surgery, a lot of my breathing issues were resolved.  But every now and then, like in the gymnastics parking lot, my mouth breathing returns.  And it ain't pretty.

It usually happens when I'm really tired.  And Tim and I are really, really tired.  But it's a good tired.  A sweet tired.

Saturday night, Tim and I sat down to watch an unwatched Parenthood episode on our DVR (from last February).  It was good.  We enjoyed it and then promptly fell asleep.  We both woke up groggy and confused in the middle of the night with the lights and the tv on.  "You were breathing really hard," Tim told me and even did a quite unflattering impersonation of my heavy mouth breathing.  Then we turned out the lights and went back to sleep.

Okay, I get it, it may not be pretty, in fact it may be a mouth breathing, fly catching mess, but this my friends is the good life. And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Cocktail Clip: