Thursday, December 8, 2011

I Got This

I like to think that I have control sometimes.  Mwahahaha!  I know, very funny.  But there are moments where I feel like I got this.


After getting my mother settled in at the nursing home, I sighed with relief and thought "well, I got this."  I can handle it.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, or so I thought.  


In the very next moment my mother was shuffling down the hallway screaming that she was leaving.  Startled I ran after her asking the director "what do I do?"  My heart was pounding out of my chest and I was short of breath.  I thought for sure this was the moment when they told me "Well, there's nothing we can do for her here, you have to take her home with you." So I chased after her while I swear to god Mele Kalikimaka (the f*#@ing stupid Hawaiian Christmas song) was quietly playing throughout the hallway.  The Alzheimer's patients in the hall looked at me like I was crazy.




Turns out, my mother didn't like their non-smoking policy and was hell bent on smoking a cigarette.  After getting her in the car and yelling at her about following rules, that woman only took two puffs off her damn cigarette.  Two puffs!


Since she has been in the nursing home the past three three days, my sister and I have been called several times.  My mother has managed to piss off the entire nursing staff, insult the other guests, fall out of her bed and completely baffle a team of medical professionals.  "Do you think she might be a drug seeker?" one nurse gently asked yesterday on the phone.  Um, yup.


Maybe I don't "got this."


Back at my home, my sweet home full of chaos and kids fighting.  But let me tell you, it sounds oh so sweet.  I look at my kids and I see healthy, happy (well you know what I mean) little people.  Little people that I vow to stay sane for.  Little people that I will not let down. 


Milkshake Night! Good times!


This week more than ever, I am enjoying the cuddling on the couch, the games of UNO (yeah, we love our UNO here), the Advent calendar activities like Milkshake Night and I am not getting too worked up about the bickering and fighting.  


I even enjoyed a trip to the grocery store with all four kids.  And didn't get too rattled when all the kids pouted a little when they couldn't get their toy, candy bar or whatever.  It did rattle me a bit when I turned around and saw 5-year-old JT putting the plastic produce bags over his head.  


Again, maybe I don't "got this."


One thing I do "got" (oh my god, that is painful to write and read), is dancing in my kitchen (or my living room).  I seriously can put anybody to shame.  


"Oh-oh-oh my god."  Favorite part of this video is how no one in my house is paying any attention to me.






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