Friday, November 21, 2014

The Snow & What I Know For Sure

This week it snowed here.  It snowed a lot.  

As I scrambled to find matching gloves and snow pants and boots the kids hadn't outgrown, I sort of forgot to get excited.  It was just one more challenge in my life as an unorganized parent.  Waaaaa.

But it turns out, it was really hard to be extremely grumpy about the snow when the kids, especially Wade, were so excited.  Wade was in awe of the falling snow.  When I picked him up from Pre-K, he immediately flopped on the ground and made snow angels.  He wanted to "scoop the snow" off the sidewalk and driveway.  Everything about the snow was great to Wade.


The older kids threw snowballs and prayed for snow days.  

They all got excited about the snow.

Yesterday morning, the snow was coming down hard.  The big kids didn't get their wish for a snow day and headed off to school.  Wade was laying in my bed watching TV.  Instead of bemoaning the fact that I couldn't get warm and that we had to "scoop" a ton of snow off our driveway and our minivan if we wanted to go anywhere, I stopped and surrendered to the moment.  Instead of racing around, I made us toast, put it on a tray and got under the covers with him.  As the snow fell and fell and fell, we ate toast, snuggled and watched cartoons.  

Later that day, I did indeed have to scrape the windshield and battle the bad roads to pick up kids from practice and take them to get haircuts and then back home.  "At least it's not Buffalo," I heard someone say at the salon.  I actually heard about five people say that over the course of my errands.  

I smiled because I realized those people were surrendering to the moment too--choosing gratitude and a positive attitude over grumbling and complaining and grumpiness.

Sometimes it's easier to surrender to the excitement and the joy of a moment rather than getting grumpy and ungrateful.  Sometimes it's easier to make toast and get back in bed.  Sometimes it's easier and just so much better to be happy, I know that for sure this week. 


Here's what else I know for sure this week:
  • I love my kids. Duh, right?  But last night I looked over while they were watching Frozen and three of them were sitting in our big chair together.  I love that they can all fit still.  I love that no one told them to sit there, they just did.  I love them.

  • No one needs to die on Parenthood.  I heard a rumor that in the last four episodes someone dies.  Nooooo!  I don't need sad and realistic, that's what real life is for. 
  • One of my new favorite shows is The People's Couch on Bravo.  If you like to laugh out loud, you should watch it.  
  • This song makes me want to dance and dance and dance.





  • Jimmy Fallon is one talented dude and The Roots are awesome.  I've been going to bed earlier lately but luckily I can watch clips from all my favorite late night shows.  Here's one when Jimmy Fallon filled in for YouTube and sang Desire.  So good.




What do YOU know for sure this week?  Let me know here or over on my Facebook page.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Therapy

My new favorite song is "Therapy" by Mary J. Blige.  Maybe it's because I love therapy.  Maybe it's because I love Mary J. Blige.  Maybe it's because the song and the whole album is really, really good.  Maybe it's a combination of all of it and the fact that listening to Mary J. Blige's music is like therapy. 

My first time I went to a therapist I was 21.  I was in college, my mother had been admitted to a psych ward, I was lost and needing to be heard.  Even though I was all kinds of messed up, I was really never at a loss for words.  I pictured myself having no problem telling everything to a therapist, but that wasn't the case.  My first session was filled with a lot of very uncomfortable silence.  It turns out I had to sort of ease into therapy.

I didn't know where to begin.  I didn't want to be rude.  I didn't want to not tell jokes.  

Luckily my therapist was amazing.  She patiently helped me tell my story, she didn't judge my inability to not tell bad jokes sometimes.  She helped me be okay with being vulnerable and real and messy.  And she helped me find the beauty in the mess and move on.

I am a believer in therapy.  "I think everyone should go in for a tune up every decade," I used to tell people.  I stand by that advice, but I think that people should go whenever they feel they are messed up and lost and needing to be heard.  There is no shame in it. Just like Blige sings "why would I spend the rest of my days unhappy, why would I spend the rest of this year alone, when I could go therapy."

Therapy to me can be formal like sitting with a therapist or it can be running or dancing in the kitchen or lyrics and a voice that speak to you.   I do all of it.  Mary J. Blige has been one of the voices that has helped me over the years.  
This was my road trip survival kit this past summer....notice classic Mary J. Blige CD.

Rocking with Blige's What's the 411? in college and then feeling every bit of her No More Drama album in my 20s.  Now in the first year of my 40s, I am loving Blige's new album The London Sessions.


The compilation of songs on this album are a mix of sounds that are happy and sad, light and dark, and inspirational.  Track number 10, "Pick Me Up,"  makes me want to dance and think about getting through it and getting away and sunny days and good times.  Track number two, "Doubt," makes me want to nod and say that's right when she sings "I can't keep doubting myself anymore....you think you know, but you don't know the half...I'll keep getting up, because that's what I'm going to do, I'm going to be the best me, I'm sorry if it kills you."  Um, yes!!!!

For this album, Blige collaborated with some of the UK's most popular stars--including Disclosure, Eg White, Emile Sande, Jimmy Napes, Naughty Boy, SAM ROMANS and Sam Smith.  The new collection will be released December 2 on Capitol Records.  Click here to pre-order on iTunes http://bit.ly/MJBLondon and on Amazon http://bit.ly/MJBLS.   

"The London Sessions is, number one, the bravest thing, and number two, just so honest," Sam Smith, who co-wrote lead single, "Therapy," with Blige and Eg White (Adele, Florence + The Machines, James Blunt), is quoted as saying. I couldn't agree more.

Mary J. Blige's voice makes me want to close my eyes and say and believe--in her music, in myself, in life.  It's therapy.  In every song she sings you hear her struggle and her bravery.  She is brave enough to be vulnerable and real and messy and find the beauty in all of it.

Do what you've got to do.  Go to your therapist, go for a run, dance in your kitchen and sing along with Mary J. Blige.

Download the album on iTunes  http://bit.ly/MJBLondon  
and Amazon
  http://bit.ly/MJBLS
  


I participated in the Mary J Blige The London Sessions album review program as a member of One2One Network. I was provided a free album to review but all opinions are my own.  

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Merry/Happy Thanksgiving/Christmas/Holiday Season

I will admit that over the years the holidays haven't really been my thing.  Due to a few painful childhood memories, a constantly limited budget and too much damn pressure, my reaction to the holidays was usually to retreat.  Even after my kids were born, I struggled.  I loved making new memories with them, but my uneasiness lingered.  But something strange is happening.   Maybe it's the fact that I'm getting older older and I've been a parent for 13 years, I don't know.   I feel like I am far enough away from painful memories and I've created so many years of good times with my own sweet family,  well, the holidays just aren't feeling as overwhelming right now.

I'm not rolling my eyes when I hear people talk about decorating before Thanksgiving or when I hear the first Nat King Cole Christmas song on the radio.  I smile to myself like I picture a kind grandma doing when I hear people feverishly complain about stores being open on Thanksgiving like their lives depended on it instead of making fun of them in my head.  It's strange, but good.

I'm considering forgetting Thanksgiving all together and not feeling badly about it.  I mean why not? It got so cold here this week and snowed, it feels more like Christmas anyway. 

Yesterday it was 12 degrees so I started making paper snowflakes and we had hot cocoa with whipped cream after school.  It all felt very holiday-ish and I didn't feel twitchy or wrong.  It's strange, but good.


One part of the holidays that I have truly always loved and has helped get me get out of my painful funks over the years is helping others.  

This year I got to make a video about a book drive for one of my favorite nonprofits Charlotte's Wings (I've written about them here and here and here).  It is an amazing nonprofit that collects and donates new books to children and families in hospital or hospice care in Michigan. Here's a link to a great article about the book drive at Barnes & Noble in Rochester Hills.   Check out the video (and if you live in the area go donate a book).


Charlotte's Wings Book Drive at Barnes & Noble 2014 Final Version from Jumping With My Fingers Crossed on Vimeo.

Wondering how to make a difference this holiday season?  It's simple.  Do something.  Volunteer at a soup kitchen, invite a lonely friend over for dinner, visit a nursing home or hospital, offer to babysit your neighbor's kids for an afternoon, make dinner for someone, find a book drive or a toy drive or a coat drive.  Get into the spirit of the season.

I'm feeling strangely ready to sing a Christmas song, eat turkey, watch football, watch The Polar Express and go volunteer.  Happy/Merry Thanksgiving/Christmas/Holiday Season!!! Bring it on, I am ready, I think.  It's strange, but good.  


How do YOU feel?  Are you decorating?  Do you love the holidays?  Do you and your family get involved in community service, what do you do?


Just for fun and because I'm feeling so holiday-ish, here's a funny holiday song/video from Kristen Bell- Text Me Merry Christmas


Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Number 4

Wade wanted to stay up with Peyton and his friends to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail on Saturday night, he regularly watches documentaries on ESPN with his brothers and is looking forward to the new Hobbit movie coming out.  And yeah, he just turned five.  

I never would have let the other kids watch these shows when they were that age.  I also wouldn't have let them play football in the back yard with sixth and seventh graders or rap along to an Eminem song on the radio.  But Wade is different, he is number four.  He is the baby of a big family, and actually a decent rapper.  

Although he may be exposed a bit early to teen humor and I had to have a talk with him about how his new friends at Pre-K may not have watched the documentary about Herschel Walker over the weekend, there are benefits to being number four.

Wade is a mixture of a relaxed confidence and an urgent desire to get in on all the action.  He wants to play with the big kids and show them what he is made of (and his brothers rarely give him any breaks for being the little guy).  He is fearless and tough and happy.  

On the basketball court, with the whole family cheering him on, he goes after the ball with all his might, all the time, every minute he is in the game.  


Being number four isn't always about being aggressive.  It also means you are everybody's little brother.  Everyone in the family has a soft spot for Wade.  He has a bad dream or a bad day, he has three siblings who comfort him and try to cheer him up.  Even friends of his brothers and sister look out for him and take care of him. 

Wade loves the weekends when the family is together a little bit more even if we are running around to different sporting events and parties.  He loves being "all together."

Wade watching the ESPN documentary about Herschel Walker, and snuggling because it's Sunday afternoon and they are together.

This is how we watched Lucy's basketball game.  
Wade also makes it okay for all of us to act like a little kid.  Like getting so excited about the first snowfall of the season you run outside in your pajamas to catch snowflakes on your tongue.  Or when we are all forced to watch/enjoy Toy Story 3 again because Wade loves Buzz and Woody as much as Peyton did when he was five. We all get a chance to read beloved books like No! David and sing silly songs together because he loves them.

I looked outside yesterday morning and saw this little elf...
it was 7:15 a.m.

Sure Wade will probably get a iPhone when he is eight and all the parents will be all "don't let your kid go to his house for a playdate he has three teenage siblings!" But being number four is pretty great right now.  He is everyone's little brother, a pretty good rapper, a great snuggler, and just a pretty great kid.  A sweet, messy-haired punctuation mark to our family.

Yeah, they are watching the trailer for the new Hobbit movie.
But look at how his arm is around her? So sweet.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Feeling All The Feelings & What I Know For Sure

I received a gift this week that moved me to tears.  Granted I cry a lot.  This week I teared up because I'm worried about Scott Disick having to go to rehab on the Kardashians Take Hamptons; I cried a little when I watched President George W. Bush be interviewed by Jenna Bush on the TODAY Show and talk about his father and his father's good relationship with President Clinton; my eyes got a little misty when I watched Wade hopscotch his way into preschool.

I've identified myself as a highly sensitive individual and the Internet confirmed it (read here).  I do cry easily.  BUT the tears when I received the gift were so good.  They were tears of gratitude and relief.  The gift was a bracelet from a friend I met online and she totally gets me.  The gift came at a point in the week when I was feeling particularly unlucky and unworthy.  When I saw the gift, I cried because I am grateful to feel loved, understood, accepted and encouraged.

The gift was a bracelet with the most perfect inscription that made me smile (through my tears).  The note with the gift spoke my love language of words of affirmation, it was beautiful.


It was simple but huge.  I may be highly sensitive and all the feelings can be overwhelming but sometimes, it is wonderful to feel all the feelings and soak up the love, I know that for sure.  And I know for sure that there are good, wonderful people in the world that can make an oversensitive girl's week by knowing just the right thing to say.

Here's what else I know for sure this week:

  • If former Presidents and rivals can like each other and act like family...the rest of us can surely get along.  Right?  Click here to read what Clinton is saying on Twitter about Bush's new book and how Bush responded on Instagram.  It's awesome.  Then watch the video below.  

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking newsworld news, and news about the economy


  • It got coooooooold here.  I miss summer terribly, but at least Wade gets to wear his most favorite hat ever in the whole world again.

  • I love this song.



  • I'm going through a jazz phase.  Even though I definitely like to rock out in my kitchen, I am also obsessed with jazz and it is quickly becoming my go-to Pandora channel.  

  • We've got the arts covered at our house.  Music? Check.  Art? Check.  Dancing? But of course.  
Before school Lucy practices Carol of the Bells
and Wade draws tornadoes.

  • I am F-word.  I made a video about being a feminist and it has one positive comment and one really long negative comment.  If you feel like it, even if you don't consider yourself a feminist and you don't agree with me but you know how sensitive I am and how nice words feed my soul and you want to go leave a positive comment...that would be ahhhhhmazing.


(Click here to watch the video.)


  • I wish I had more/made more time to read.  I found the card in the family with the lowest overdue balance on it and headed to the library this week.  This is what I hope to be reading and learning about...

What do YOU know for sure this week?  What are you reading, feeling, listening to?  Tell me here in the comments or over on my Facebook page.

And come play with me on Instagram, click here .


Thursday, November 13, 2014

The F-Word

This post is inspired by my friend Jenni Chiu over at Mommy Nani Booboo when she wrote a compelling post called "I am the F-Word."  She is amazing and inspiring and I love how she is getting this conversation about the F-word going in a different direction than some of the celebrities and media right now. I am happy to be a part of that direction.

The F-word gets a bad rap.  I'm talking about the word Feminist.  Some people may have stopped reading after seeing that word.  Time magazine suggests we ban the word.  A few celebrities try to distance themselves from the word.  And I don't get it.

Feminism is about equal rights for women.  What is horrible about equal rights?  Why is being proactive for equal rights for women a controversial, divisive thing?  

Maybe it's because the image of a feminist is a man-bashing, uber-liberal, angry woman.  But guess what...not all feminists look alike or make the same choices or vote for the same people.  Just like all moms don't wear high-wasted jeans and have short hair. 

To me, equal rights for EVERYONE means we have freedom to make choices--get married to who we want, if we want; stay at home with kids or work outside the home and have kids; run for office or not run for office.  

I am a Feminist. 
I made a little video about my feminism, check it out.


(Click here to watch the video.)


I am proud to be a suburban stay-at-home mother of four children, Methodist, Feminist.  I am proud to be pro-equal rights.  I am proud to be part of a movement that supports encouraging girls and women to reach their full potential.  I am proud to be a part of a movement that teaches boys and men to treat girls and women with respect.  

This post is not meant to ruffle feathers or be controversial or divisive.  This post is just my story about why I am a proud Feminist and why I don't think the F-word is bad. I hope people will listen even if they don't agree with me.  When people tell me they are a Republican, I do not make a joke, I listen.  If people tell me they don't believe in global warming, I listen.  I think if we drop our preconceived ideas or what Time magazine or Fox News or MSNBC tells us about the F-word (and really everything else), it might be interesting what we learn about each other.  And there might be more Feminists.

What do YOU think?

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

A Tattoo For Christmas

I got my tattoo when I was 21.  I like to call myself a trailblazer or the first tramp to get stamped.  Only kidding, sort of.  I am so old that I got a tattoo on my lower back before the term "tramp stamp" became popular.  

I got the tattoo because I was feeling restless and rebellious, not trampy.  It was in the fall of my last year of college.  It was a time of anxiety about what life would look like after graduation.  I was ready to leave college, but not sure what life was going to look like.  Everything was going to change and I sort of wanted to prove what a badass I was.  Like a tattoo would say "look out world, I can take what you throw my way."  Or at least that's what was going through my 21-year-old brain.

I showed up at the tattoo shop with about $20 in cash and dreams of getting a beautiful Celtic symbol inked onto my back.  The symbol was on a necklace I got in Ireland while studying abroad the year before, it signified neverending life.  I was so deep.  But the long haired young guy in a T-shirt who ran the shop said that they symbol would cost me about $100.   I was deep, but I was also pretty broke and $100 was way out of my budget.  Long-haired, T-shirt guy pointed me to the books full of examples of tattoos sitting on the glass coffee table.  Being the deep chick that I was I found the perfect Asian symbol for my back, it supposedly meant "to enjoy oneself."  Deep, broke and dedicated to remembering to have fun, and tattooed for life.

I loved my tattoo.  Even after it faded.  Even after the whole tramp stamp stigma became popular.  Even after I moved to the suburbs, got married and had four kids AND drove a minivan.  Actually maybe it all made me love it more.  It was my ode to my inner badassness.  I always wanted another one.

Now, I am feeling restless and rebellious again.  Everything is changing.  My kids are getting older and I'm getting older too.  And just like Stevie Nicks sings about, I'm handling the seasons of my life and I'm getting bolder.  Turning 40 helped me let go of some of my hang ups, set new boundaries, be less afraid and more hopeful....about some things.  I admit to feeling a bit anxious about parenting teenagers, paying for teenagers, entering a workforce (if someone will hire me) after not working in an office in a decade, peri-menopausal hormones and a few other things.  I think it's time.  Time for a new tattoo to say "look out menopause and teenagers, I can take what you throw my way."  Not literally of course.  I mean I know there is a big trend to get quotes tattooed on your body.  I thought about it.  I wrote things on my arm to test it out.  But it just didn't feel right.  

So I asked my friend Liane, who is an artist, to draw a tattoo on my arm to see if I would like it....she drew a feather and I LOVED it.  We got the idea from Pinterest.  
Liane and I got together to draw tattoos
and talk about life in a coffee shop.
I got the most delicious latte flavored with honey and cinnamon.


Doesn't this say badass?

Yup, this week's Pinterest Poser Challenge* is Tattoo Inspiration.  I kind of look at Pinterest like the books of tattoo examples on the glass coffee table the long-haired, T-shirt guy directed me to almost 20 years ago.  


This is a pretty feather,
but I'm determined to get my feather on my arm.

Photo source- click here. This phrase means "she flies with her own wings."

According to Pinterest, the feather symbolizes freedom, power, wisdom, honor, trust and strength.  Oooh, I like that.  There were also pins about Psalm 91:4 which says "under the shadow of your wings, I will find a hiding place."  That is good too.  Then there's the whole Emily Dickinson connection, you know "Hope is the thing with feathers."

I'm still a poser because I haven't gotten the tattoo, yet. But I'm feeling it hard and all I want for Christmas is a feather tattoo.  

Because I mentioned it, here is one of the greatest songs ever, Landslide.


*In an attempt at not being a Pinterest Poser,** every week I detail a new project/idea/recipe inspired by Pinterest.
**My definition of a Pinterest Poser is someone who is all pins and no substance.

Have you made anything or been inspired by Pinterest lately?  Let me know in the comments or over on my Facebook page


Come follow me on Pinterest (click here).

Here are some of the Pinterest projects I've done/made/attempted.

Taking Pictures of Your Kids- click here
Gluten Free Pretzels- click here
Cinnamon Sugar Doughballs- click here
Painted Lockers- click here
Melted Beads- DIY Suncatcher- click here
Tissue Paper Pom Pom Garland-- click here
A Delightfully Simple Birthday Party--click here
Make An Awesome Omelet--click here
Outdoor Lights Inspired by the show Parenthood- click here
Herb Garden with Chalkboard Pots- click here
Backyard Graffiti Art with kids- click here
Happiness Notecards- click here
Gluten Free Rainbow Cake- click here
Fruit Roll-Up Fortune Cookies- click here
Make Your Own Magnets- click here
DIY Painted Clay Necklace- click here
Dixie Cup Lights- click here
DIY Ornaments-click here
Gluten Free Clay- click here
Make Your Own Stamps- click here
Birthday Shirt- click here
Gluten Free Pop Tarts- click here
Front Porch Kid Art Display- click here
Door turned into Table- click here
Summer Wish List Chalkboard-click here
Peanut Butter Nutella Cookie Sandwiches-click here
Painted Mason Jar Vases-click here
Cinco de Mayo Paper Flowers- click here
Earth Day Cupcakes- Click here
Nail Art-click here
Homemade Photo Booth Fun- click here
Fake Bangs- click here
DIY Subway Art- click here
Furniture Painting and Bench/Chest Makeover- click here
Thanksgiving-y Project/Gratitude/Holiday Countdown- click here
The Smoothie-click here
The Free Printable Turned Artwork in a Boring Hallway- click here
The chalk board-click here
Seven Layer Dip in Individual Cups (my favorite so far!)-click here
The pumpkin address-click here
The Kitchen Dancing Sign--click here

Monday, November 10, 2014

The Apple Clicker

Parenting is a tricky business.  Just when you think you're ahead, you screw something up and have to start all over again.  Actually, that's not only parenthood, that's life most of the time.  In parenthood and in life, there are those small victories, those moments when you feel like a beam of light is shining down on you and there's an angel chorus  singing "Ahhhhhhhh" in your honor.  And we have to hold onto those moments for dear life to get through all the screw ups.

Last week, Tim left for his bi-annual retreat.  Twice a year Tim goes to his parents' cottage a couple hours away to retreat from the stress of being the sole provider of such a large family and being the guy we all love to spend time with and constantly ask questions of, and work and coaching and not fixing stuff around the house.  I dig that he goes away because he gets the sleep he so desperately needs and he gets sort of sappy and sweet.  It's like he gets the opportunity to feel what well rested feels like and take a look at all the good stuff we have in our life.  It's great.

And I love it because I am in charge.  There's no negotiating or communicating every decision about the day or the kids or what show we watch at night.  I have all the power.  

This time, I had big plans.  I was going to be the most fun mom ever, write a ton of work to submit everywhere I'd ever wanted to be published, go here and go there and watch The Real Housewives on the big TV in the living room instead of the bedroom because Tim can't stand it, and I was going to fix some of the things around the house that needed fixing.  The only problem was that Tim was going away for four days not 40.  My expectations were grand to say the least.

The first day he was gone started really well.  I cleaned behind the refrigerator and the stove, which by the way I didn't even know we were supposed to do that.  I found the house key that Peyton lost and everyone had supposedly looked for.  I filled out a job application and ran a couple miles.  I was feeling like Super Woman.  Feeling heady with accomplishment and power, I declared that "I will find the Apple TV clicker!"  The stupid Apple TV clicker had been missing for over a week and that meant no Netflix and so we had all been a little on edge.  The Apple TV clickers are small and skinny, which some call a sleek design and I call stupid.  Stupid because it is just asking to get lost in our house of horrors.  

It took me two hours of obsessive digging and searching and the living room looked like robbers had ransacked the place with all the couch cushions in the middle of the room....but I FOUND THE STUPID APPLE CLICKER.  It was one of those moments when the light was shining down and angels were singing.  I was amazing. Ahhhhhhhhh!  "You want to watch Daniel Tiger?" I asked Wade.  "Well, you can, right now, because of me."



As I was reveling in my amazing-ness, I realized I better go pick up my oldest at school.  Peyton had stayed after for basketball tryouts and I was pretty sure the time I was supposed to pick him up was 6.  He hadn't said anything differently when I texted him earlier in the evening.

It was dark and cold and rainy, the kind of night you want to be inside.  Reluctantly, I gathered up the other children and we got in the minivan and headed to the school.  There was Peyton standing outside.  He got in the van and I greeted him with a Mrs. Doubtfire-inspired "Helllloooooo."

"Mom, you are 40 minutes late," he said angrily.  "I was locked out of the school and my phone died. I've been waiting in the rain and the dark.  Where were you?"

"I am so sorry, I had no idea," I said apologetically.  There were no angels, no light shining.  "Um, well, I found the stupid Apple clicker," I added hoping he would be impressed.  He wasn't.

I went from being the hero who would bring the masses their beloved streaming television shows to being the idiot who got the time wrong and left their teenager out in the rain.  

Somehow I found a way to blame the whole mess on Tim.  "Well, your dad gave me the wrong time and you know how he is," I said.  



It may not have been the nicest way to handle the situation, but to be fair I was still on a power trip and Tim was napping in peace when all of this went down.  

I wish I could say these situations were rare, but they aren't.  Every damn day is filled with small victories and small (or big) screw ups.  It's a roller coaster, a big one not for wimps.  It's highs and lows and happy and sad and "you're the worst mom!" and "I love you mom!" and getting it right and getting it wrong.  It's a ride, it's a trip and it's mostly pretty damn amazing.  And those moments with the whole light shining down and the angels singing? Yeah, you got to hold onto those moments.