I'm linking up with the pleated poppy's What I Wore Wednesday(wiww) again to talk fashion.
The other night, Lucy and I found ourselves home alone. No brothers. No Tim. Just us. I asked her if she wanted to help me pick out a dress to wear to a big fancy party. It turned into one of the best nights ever.
Having a daughter is this amazing, wonderful thing that terrifies me. Lucy is at a magical age, 9, where she is full of so much positive energy. She's confident. She's not worried about her legs or her hair or her teeth. She actually wants braces because they look cool. Do you remember that feeling?
She's at the age where I want to bottle up all that confidence and comfort, and save for all those moments when she starts questioning, well, um, everything. It will start with maybe a comment from a boy she likes or a girl she doesn't. Someone might say something about her hair or her eyes, or god forbid her gorgeous freckles, and she'll start doubting. She'll doubt her beauty and then her weight and then she'll start hating parts of herself.
Just thinking about it makes my stomach hurt and my heart ache.
Anxiety about her future anxiety is what made the other night so very good. It's what makes all the rare one-on-one moments we have as mother and daughter so very good.
They are opportunities to set an example. An example of fun, confidence and comfort. Fun with fashion and self expression. Confidence in myself and my choices. Comfort in my own skin.
|I almost considered actually wearing this dress (it's vintage, circa 1991) to the fancy charity event.|
While we played dress up and took pictures and made faces in the mirror together, we talked. We talked about what clothes we liked--we are both really into comfortable pants and bright colors. We talked about how being different is good. I told her the story of when I was in fifth grade I had a sticker that said "WEIRD" on my desk. And how when people would say "you're weird" I would point to the sticker and proudly say "thank you."
"Mom, you really are kind of weird," Lucy said after the sticker story.
"And still my reply is thank you," I told her while standing on a yellow chair in my old pink prom dress in a very Betsey Johnson kind of way, minus the cartwheel.
And we laughed and tried on more outfits. Like the line in the old Madonna song, we were dressing each other up in love.
Later that weekend, we played dress up again. This time it was at a 5K we ran together (a Girls on the Run event). We spray painted our hair, put ribbons on our shirts and had fun.
When I was getting ready to run the race I almost made a comment about my big legs, you know "ugh, I hate my huge legs, you'd think running so many miles would make my legs and butt smaller, god I'm embarrassed. " But then I looked down at my daughter with purple spray paint in her hair and remembered our night of fashion fun. A flash of what it felt like to be 9 came over me. All hopeful and curious and unaware of big thighs and mean people and unfair bosses and sleepless nights and boyfriend worries. And I remembered it's not just the comments about her that will change Lucy, it's the comments I make about my own body.
"You look so awesome with purple hair," I told her and she smiled from ear to ear.
In other fashion news, my color obsession has reached new heights...blue and orange and green, whaaa? Mixing and matching and loving it.
Cardigan: Old Navy circa 2008
Dress: Old Navy $11
Necklace: 31 BITS
Please leave a comment and let me know how you enourage your daughter and/or have fun with fashion.
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Since I started doing the fashion link up with the pleated poppy'swhat i wore wednesdays (wiww). WWIW link up was started by blogger/business woman extraordinaire, Lindsey, as a "fun way for us to encourage each other to simply get dressed each day, and get out of our pj’s or yoga pants." I've thought more about fashion than, well maybe ever. And it's been fun (click here to read Color Popping). It's been therapeutic (click here to read about my Closet Therapy).